I am ashamed of my fellow Christians

I am ashamed of the churches I have attended and their silence, I am especially ashamed of the fact that I went to 'the world's largest Christian university' and that in the over 12,600 students that go there, only 10 or less can put aside their needs to come sidewalk counsel and pray for an end to abortion. 

I am absolutely horrified that while on Facebook last night, I saw a friend from Nyack college, a more liberal leaning Christian college that I went to for a brief period, post about his great work at Planned Parenthood and then saw a pastor (from the same college) comment on the post commending my friend for his great work. I am astounded that someone who claims to serve God could ever say that he is proud of the work that goes into a company that kills living, human beings.

I am grieved that many pastors do not preach on the sin of abortion as they do the sin of hate towards one another. I am grieved that many churches only want to fight abortion in the pretty ways, and not really get out there and discuss that it is wrong. Why can we only collect money for pregnancy centers but become suddenly frozen when we need to take a stand as a witness for life who is against abortion?

Yesterday was the first day of the 40 Days for Life campaign. I can imagine you know where I was, but you cannot imagine the grief that I felt. So many of you tell me you are pro-life and are all for what I do, but you do nothing yourselves to put an end to this. I sat out there yesterday crying out to God in prayer asking, ‘Why am I the only one sitting out there praying for three whole hours at the start of this campaign’?

I am truly ashamed of my lack of movement on this issue, so do not just see this as me calling out others, but also calling out myself. There are many days that I could have driven the hour and a half to Richmond to go sidewalk counseling but did not. There were many days where I could have pulled out the abortion pictures I have and stood on the streets in order to educate people but I did not.

I want to ask you something though. Do you believe you would have taken in Jews during World War II and Hitler's Holocaust and kept them safe?
Well let me tell you this. I truly believe that if you have not spoken up to family or friends about abortion, if you have not gone sidewalk-counseling, if you have not regularly devoted time at a pregnancy center, participated in abortion image outreach, or another pro-life ministry that you would have not have even spent a few moments thoughts on helping the Jews in such a practical way.
I truly believe that and there is very little you could ever do that would convince me otherwise.

I believe that if you are one who contributes to those financially who fight abortion that you possibly would have also contributed to those who needed financial help to help the Jews.

I know I will hear from many of you that the 'pro-life ministry' just isn't what you are called to do or help with. But remember that saying that means that you also would have said the same thing about helping the Jews, the disabled, and the orphans when they were being lead off to the concentration camps.

I know that we are all busy and I am not trying to deny that your life, family, job, etc. are less important and do not keep you busy. What I am saying though is that, can you not manage one hour to pray or sidewalk counsel? Can you not manage a few days for a trip to educate the people who need to hear and see what abortion is? Can you not talk about abortion and teach lessons at your church about it? Can you not skip the football game and do your homework during that time so that you can go sidewalk counseling instead?

I leave you with this last thought. If we truly believe abortion is wrong and kills a baby, then we will devote time to trying to save these little ones and their families. If we believe that abortion is simply just another procedure that needs to happen, then we will sit back and hardly ever touch the subject.

"In front of every abortion clinic there needs to be a sign that reads, 'Here by permission of the Church." -Francis Schaeffer

I just need you to understand

I've been working a few weeks now on getting a post out about the amazing time I had on this summer's Justice Ride, but I'm still working on a few rough ends. For the mean time though, I just really needed to say the following to a larger audience than myself.


I still cry at the abortion pictures.

There I said it. It's not some big secret, but often times when I am out there during the day I put on the brave face, I get into my outraged mood of "why does nobody care about this?" and I try to talk to people, to point at the pictures and try my best to get them to look.

But I still cry as I sort through the pictures to see if I can find some pictures of students doing outreach to put on a missions letter.

I HATE LOOKING AT THESE PICTURES!!!

I hate waking up every morning knowing that even though I'm unemployed that I find it impossible to get a "normal" job. I was talking to one of my very dearest friends today and I'm afraid he got quite the earful at lunch. I was lamenting about the fact that I almost wish I could go back and not know about any of this, that I wonder what kind of life I would be leading if I hadn't walked into that first sidewalk counseling training session at Liberty University back in February of 2010.

I have been reading about Dietrich Bonhoeffer lately and I am made to feel bolder in my convictions by seeing the convictions he held about what was happening to the Jews leading up to and during the holocaust.

He was bold and reckless (from what I've read so far) and confronted so many professing Christians who crossed his path. I want to be this person!!! But I am afraid I waiver when I have already just in part tasted the consequences of being that person.

I've lost friendships over discussions on birth control and have had people yell at me for asking them if they would have 'stepped up to talk about or stand in the way of the mass slaughter of the Jews'.
So I maybe have slowed down where instead I should be speeding up.

Right now I'm writing a fundraising (and prayer raising) letter (PS I hate asking for money) and trying my best to communicate this mission that I feel burning in my heart. I hope to finish this without too many more tears, but honestly I wish I could share my tears with you!

I wish I could share the burden on my heart. I wish I could show you the women and men I have seen on the streets who have told me that abortion was what kicked off a long list of bad things for them. I wish I could show you the joy in that faces of those men and women when I tell them that through Christ we find forgiveness. I wish I could show you how when the innocent children pass by our graphic images they point and say "look mom, it's a baby".

But most of all, I wish that every Christian would cry over the fact that we have done so little to end abortion. That we as Christ's followers have said so many times that the pro-life thing just 'isn't our ministry' we are called to.

So if you're reading this do me a favor. Take one minute (that's 60 seconds) and ask God to break your heart for that babies that are dying every day (approx. 3,500 just in the U.S. every day). Many Christians would say that they wouldn't equate themselves to the German Christians who ignored the Jews being killed during the holocaust. But if we truly believe that life begins at conception and that abortion ends it then how are we any different if we do nothing about it?

I hope reading this gives you strength. The strength to become active against the culture which tells you that ‘this just isn’t your area of ministry’. The strength to devote even an hour of your week to helping these children being carried off to the slaughter.

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. Prv. 31:8

Awaiting God's next path

So here I am just a little in to April and I find my time done at Students For Life. It's a sad and unexpected thing but instead of dwelling on it I am constantly refocusing my eyes on the Lord and doing my best to be open to where He may be leading me.

So what will I do in this waiting period, well I have a few projects in mind, some you'll have to sit down with me to talk about in order to find out. I'm mostly excited for the future because God brings us through life in order that we may better learn to serve Him and I know that's where I'm headed.

One of my projects I will be working on is to be earnestly praying for a woman named Diane Derzis who owns several abortion mills (one of which is located in Richmond, VA not too far from me). I have met her once and during that time she tried to say every dirty thing she could to me and about me. That is not something I'm not used to, in fact I consider it an honor whenever I am able to stand by those who are being held to do a dark work and being able to pray for them.

I've been able to find out through some work that there are several different abortion mills that are not giving options in counseling but rather just telling women about the one option of "termination".

Why do they call it pro-choice when there is no choice given to these scared young women? Whenever someone has told me they are pro-choice I am quick to correct them and tell them that what they are actually saying is they are pro-abortion. The only different choice that they are for that I am not is the choice to murder an innocent preborn child.

How can we call that a choice? How can we call it a 'blessing from God' or a 'beautiful baby' and then call a preborn child the same age 'products of conception'?

As I stated in a status on facebook I am not sure what is ahead of me right now but I know three things very assuredly that I will continue to do:
1. Praise and Worship the Lord
2. Cry out against the horror of abortion
3. Try my best to communicate God's love to all people

I am definitely hoping that the Lord might somehow open up avenues for me to continue to train pro-lifers in sidewalk counseling. That has been one of my biggest pleasures to be able to have the opportunity to do so for the past few years and I hope to continue it. It was a also a huge pleasure to see students at University of Richmond use some of the tools I helped them find to save a  life just a couple months ago.

So now comes the waiting and praying part, hopefully I can learn to be still for a little bit so I can better hear God's direction for me.

Missionary for Life,
Sarah

About time

So it has been awhile since I've updated those who may be interested in my journey but here goes.

This semester has been crazy and very fruitful! I have traveled somewhere over 14,000 miles this past semester by car and am quite exhausted. But meeting the dedicated students I was able to work with far makes up for the feeling of exhaustion I faced most mornings.

I was able to start a few new pro-life groups at different colleges, some of them even in states out of my region which was exciting! I also got to meet and talk to so many people with inspiring stories and see their dedication to the abolition of abortion.

I was blessed to work with the team at Students For Life of America and see the dedication we all put in day in and day out. I'm still not quite sure how some of them operate on so little sleep!

Again if you're interested in hearing some of my journey's you can read my entries about my travels on www.sarah.studentsforlife.org

Overall at the end of the semester one of the best things to hear was that I got the compliment back from many student groups saying that "Sarah (I) was always there for me (the groups)". It's really great to feel as if I've made a difference and inspired maybe just a few to work towards seeing an end to abortion.

So keep me in prayer if you would as I gear up for this coming semester and I'm looking to hit over 20,000 miles this time!

Missionary for LIFE,
Sarah

Follow me onward and upward

With my new job at Students For Life of America I'll be posting a blog every week for everyone to see. So since I'll be updating there I'd love for you to come and read what's going on. You can find my new site at sarah.studentsforlife.org

Hope to hear your feedback there!

The Ride for Justice

So as I sit back home in VA I must take time to reflect and let you all know of the important travels I have been up to lately. I will admit that a few days before the Justice Ride with Created Equal I was having my doubts about whether I was up for another week of traveling, I felt so exhausted and ready to just stay in one place. I almost even called up CE and asked them to give my spot to someone else, but of course my better senses got ahold of me and I knew I'd be able to make it through the week with God's strength. Plus this was going to be a big deal because my brother was coming! My brother probably supports me more then anyone I know in my job and what I do, he's always encouraging me and telling me how proud he is, so I knew I had to go.
So I got back to NJ on Friday and we left promptly in the early morning on Sunday to head to Ohio to stay with Preston (a fellow Survivor and volunteer with Created Equal) for the night before we left Columbus on Monday morning. I admit I slept most of the way to Ohio, but my brother and I had some good conversations on the way. He endured my quizzing him a bit on what to say to certain arguments that are brought against pro-lifers. We arrived in Ohio and I was so glad to see Preston, it's a hard thing to be away from someone who you consider to be family.

So we arose on Monday morning, me trying to rush the guys out the door with many threats of "if we're late then they're going to leave without us". So we got to global headquarters for Created Equal (aka Paula's laundry room) and found that we about the second group of people to arrive and waiting on many more. Who knew all my worries would be for nothing, but the important part is we arrived on time ;)

Once we had the team together we got some pictures quick, had our morning devotion and packed up in the vans to head to Cincinatti, Oh. When we got to Cincinatti I had a little nervous feeling in my stomach, it seems like that always happens to me after I take a break with working for the graphics for a few weeks. Plus this Justice Ride would be different as we weren't going to be on college campuses but in main squares and areas in very populated cities. So we unloaded and set up the signs, it was making out to be quite the scorcher of the day, but we were all excited. I got to be paired with a newbie to Justice Ride's, her name is Reagan, and she's just about the sweetest girl ever. I always laugh a little to myself when some of the girls tell the new gals to go with me cause I 'know so much'. I mean I've only been working with graphic images since February but I suppose the years before that doing pro-life work doesn't hurt.

So Reagan and I were standing out on the edge of the square when I saw a young woman who had walked by before walking by again rather slowly. I noticed she just about had tears in her eyes, so I went up slowly to her and asked her what she thought of the pictures. "Oh it's so awful, I can't look at them cause they're making me upset". I told her I did agree with her that they were absolutely awful and that we weren't there to make people upset but rather show them what the term 'pro-choice' really means. So I asked her what she thought of abortion to which she replied that she had had one and just hoped that God could forgive her. I told her that she was forgiven, that we all are forgiven for our sins when we acknowledge that Christ died for us and paid for those sins. I asked her if Reagan and I could pray for her and she said that that would be great. So here we stood not even a half an hour after setting up being able to pray with this young lady for healing from her abortion! What an amazing gift to my heart it was to be able to share the true meaning of the gospel with her and to tell her that there is healing from abortion. Before we parted after praying I gave her some information on some different places she could call in to talk about the abortion and how to heal. The rest of the day went rather quickly and we were able to talk to a lot of people and change hearts and minds.

So we bunked on a church floor that night but not before we got to watch a movie "The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler". It's a great movie which follows this brave young woman who saw children being led off to the concentration camps to die and decided she had to do something about it. It's estimated that she saved over 2,500 young children from certain death at the hands of the Nazis. We all were pretty exhausted after a full night that day, but I managed to stay awake for the whole movie with tears in my eyes most of the time. I highly recommend it to everyone, especially young activists!

So we all awoke bright and early the next morning to head to Indianapolis, IN. Such a beautiful city and we were able to stand on the circle which in the middle had a monument dedicated to fallen soldiers (I think, I never spend much time looking at the stuff around me unless I need to). I was super excited to be there and get to visit a fellow blogger and friend Stanley, who had been on the previous Justice Ride in March. So we got there, had our morning devotional and pep talk and set up our signs. It wasn't too long before the wind started blowing over some signs however, which can always serve to disappoint and frustrate some of us. I've found the best way to deal with this is to just suck it up, hold the signs against me, and continue the battle. The day was pretty good, though I had a few interesting conversations that changed minds something that I will share with you was not such a good thing. It was towards the end of the day and I saw two mothers walking with what looked to be two of their sons who appeared to be in Junior High. Now by no means do we target children but I still like to reach out to the mothers if I can. So I went to asked the mothers' what they thought of the pictures. I barely got a few words out before the mother took her hands and covered the young boys ears. I silently thought to myself that I'm sure both those boys have played violent video games and watched movies with graphic images with their mother's consent. But so interesting to me that a mother would do that. It's a protective instinct I'm sure, but how scary is it that instead of teaching our children to fight injustice we instead shelter them and teach them to ignore the injustice happening?
The day went on and I was able to briefly talk with a young man who was post-abortive and riding by on a bike but stopped to talk for a bit. He seemed to admit that he regretted the decision but he just didn't think there was any other option at the time. He seemed so geuinely lost, like he knew that his life turned down a path he didn't like at that point. This shows in so many men, I often think that whenever the men come by and are enraged it's partially due to their own participation in a abortion. For some men they may not even be the father's, they might just be trying to help a friend out (or so they think) by driving her to the abortion mill.

Later that day we were so blessed to be hosted by a lovely homeschooling family who took all 25 or so of us in. The most impacting thing of that night had to be when Jim (Created Equal's driver for the Truth Truck) got up and talked. He talked about how his wife asked when he would be home next and how it was hard to be away from her so much. But he told her that just as he fought in the war years ago he was now fighting the     "Baby Wars" and that he would be away and fighting this battle until it ends.

While there's so much more that happened on the trip, I mean after all we did visit three more cities (Chicago, Cleveland, and Pittsburgh) I'm going to skip to Pittsburgh for the sake of getting this posted.

So Pittsburgh was our last city, and I can definitely say that we all were feeling the effects of little sleep for the week. We arrived in the Square at Pittsburgh and it seemed as if most people on the team had a feeling in the pit of their stomach that this was going to be a very rough day. I shrugged it off, thinking that 'hey at least I know we won't be getting arrested' (this was something I had to worry more about on tour with Survivors). So we set up the display and things seemed to be pretty normal, at an even pace. I managed to get some really good conversations in with some people encouraging them to stand up for Life and vote in the upcoming election.
Then as soon as it hit noon it was if a bunch of angry people were released on us. Of course this would be the lunch crowd, the people coming out expecting to go about their lives as usual and not be interrupted. But needless to say you can't do that once you've seen our graphic images. However just because our images are graphic does not mean they shouldn't be shown to the world. We shouldn't ignore the damages of a mass genocide because they make us uncomfortable. We should help people see the light of what's going on so that we can do something to change it! Plus how often to do you see the slaughter in Africa of children who are dying from wars or malnutrition listed as "CHOICE"? I can tell you not very often do you see that. But every day over 3,000 children are murdered in America for the sake of 'CHOICE'.

We need to bring this issue to light! I generally don't try to debate people to death when they tell me after looking at the pictures that they are perfectly fine with that being done and know how it's done. Often times these people will refuse to see reason. But I can't tell you how many people that walk by and see our signs have had no clue that that's what abortion was. It's got to be thousands who have changed their opinion from seeing these pictures. I've talked to many of them myself but it's still shocking every time I hear a young woman say that she was lied to about what her abortion was.

Needless to say that at noon in Pittsburgh we all felt the wrath of the angry passerby's shouting at us that we were ruining their day, and how awful we were for showing these pictures. But they just don't seem to get it at the moment that we don't show them to ruin people's days or because we're awful people. We show them because we have compassion for them and for these young lives being unnecessarily taken every day. We show them in order that people may find another option that brings them to a much happier and less destructive ending. Overall it was a rough day, but I was able to talk to a older lady who seemed really skeptical at us being out there, but after I had lead her around and showed her why we were out there and talked to her about what was occurring in our own country she really seemed to understand. She told me she would be praying for me as I started doing full-time pro-life work and that really meant a lot to me.

I really couldn't have hoped for more on the Justice Ride, it was such a great experience and so great to meet some new Justice Riders as well as spend some time with my friends from the previous one. But overall the greatest part was having the privilege to not only go on it, but to have my brother join me and then voice that he wanted to continue doing more things like it to help end this injustice (my words not his... haha).

Well stay tuned as I'm sure I'll be writing more very soon since it's less then a month until I start work with Students For Life of America!

Blessings,
Missionary For Life

Life and Death

So at the beginning of this week I had the awesome pleasure of being able to take a nice long drive up to Ohio so I could visit my old teammate Preston and some other amazing pro-lifers from Created Equal. Survivors had worked with Created Equal for two weeks during our tour in Florida and what a great time it was! Survivors was both refreshed and fed by Mark, Seth, and their crew and that was in fact where we happened to pick Preston up, who came with us after CE’s tour ended back to California. Preston was truly a welcome addition and has very quickly become just like a little brother to me. So how could I pass by the opportunity when a bunch of lovely ladies invited me to their graduation parties and Preston told me I could crash with his family if I came up? So I drove up to Ohio on Sunday and had a blast partying on Monday and remembering the sacrifice made by those who fought for our freedom on Memorial Day. On Tuesday I was super excited to go out with Seth and Preston to Ohio State campus where Cailin joined us and we did some pro-life outreach with the graphic images. I have to admit after having been gone from Survivors for a month I almost felt a little rusty out there talking to students. But in no time it seemed I was as outgoing as ever asking students what their opinions on abortion were. It was a short day as rain had delayed us getting to the campus that day, but overall was very productive.

One of my conversations was with a young man named Tyler who stopped to talk a little hesitantly. He thought that I wouldn’t want to talk to him knowing that he was pro-choice and I informed him that one of the reasons we come to the campuses is to talk to those students who are pro-choice. So we started having a lengthy discussion about being pro-choice. So with every point he made I made a counter point showing him the flaws in his argument. He kept saying “well I guess I never thought of it that way” or “I guess that’s true”.  It was incredible for me to see someone who was getting it; it was like light bulbs popping up all over his head as he understood. After talking for about 15-20 minutes he had to get to class but thanked me for talking and wished me good luck in talking to others about what was going on.  I had a few other good conversations that day, a few rough ones as always, but that’s to be expected when you talk about abortion on a college campus.

I was blessed by an awesome friend and fellow pro-lifer Amanda to be able to take a day and go have some fun at Cedar Point.  It was a true blessing, as well as a true headache after getting banged around on some coasters. But perhaps the biggest blessing was to have Amanda come with me on Thursday to experience working with graphic images for the first time. Being at Liberty we’ve never worked with the images much as many in Administration disapprove of the use of them. While I sometimes understand why, I also think that we need to embrace the fact that so many injustices in the world were never changed until the true picture of what the injustice was was shown.  So it was an honor and a proud moment of mine to see Amanda jump into debate on her own with a young man who said he thought abortion was murder but was justified if the woman had been raped. We get this view a lot, and sadly many of these people fail to realize the trauma that an abortion procedure inflicts upon the rape victim after she has already been traumatized enough.

The same day I also had a young woman come up to me with a friend and so I asked her what she thought about abortion as per usual with anyone who lingers by the pictures. She said she had had one herself but that the people at Planned Parenthood had told her “It’s just tissue”. My mouth dropped a little, it always does when it’s my first time that I hear a young woman bring to life what I’ve heard that other women have said. To hear something with your own ears or see it with your own eyes is far more different then having the story told to you secondhand.  So we talked for a bit, turned out her friend had a little one because she made the decision not to kill her child in the womb. Crazy isn’t it? I talked some more to both young woman about the different aspects of abortion and how it kills not only the child but hurts everyone involved in both mental and physical ways. I’m sad to say that my trip to Ohio had to end after Thursday after I received a call to tell me that my grandfather was on his death bed.

It was very sudden, receiving that call Thursday night, if you knew my grandfather and just how much of a young spirit he was you would be utterly surprised. My grandfather had been having problems with his hip a few weeks previous, but when my dad hadn’t heard from him for two days he asked a church friend to stop by. Then when his friend said he couldn’t get in the house because it was locked so tight we decided to call the cops. They broke into the house on Tuesday to find my grandfather dehydrated and needing a trip to the hospital but even then we had no idea it was as bad as it was. When I started typing all this I was sitting in a Hospice home in Charlottesville holding my grandfather’s hand. It seemed that what had happened was his heart started to give out because he elected not to have a surgery to repair it last year. Again if you knew my grandfather this would not seem strange as he disliked doctors and asking/getting help. So my grandfather was experiencing the shutdown of his liver and kidneys, all while his heart was going into overdrive.

You may have guessed from my tone already that my grandfather has passed on. I know many of you had been praying for him and my family and for that I am so thankful. I’m so happy and blessed that I was able to race back to Virginia from Ohio (blessed that my car made it!) and spend the time with my grandfather before he passed. But it’s made me increasingly aware of death. My brother and I were with him by his side when he passed on Sunday morning a little before 4am. I will forever remember the words I went to say to my brother in the sitting room to tell him “Matt it’s time”. I know this all probably sounds eerie, but does it make sense that I need to put my thoughts to writing to help me heal?
I’ve never seen a loved one die in front of me, and it’s just ever so strange, because my grandfather didn’t show weakness, it just wasn’t his style.  He was so sweet Friday though, I had gotten to the Hospice home just a little after they transferred him there and hugged my relatives quickly, but then rushed right to his side to sit by him. I never can leave anyone alone when they’re going through pain. I sat there holding his hand, and as I talked to him he started to squeeze my hand. That little squeeze of the hand I’m sure will carry me through rough times in the future. He was so sweet Friday, which again is you know my grandfather sweet is not a word you would generally use to describe him. So I stayed with him most of Friday, Matt stayed overnight with him, I stayed Saturday all day with him. I was originally planning on going back to the house on Saturday night at the nurses urging, but when my brother got there that night and looking at my grandfather I knew it wouldn’t be long. So I asked Matt if he would stay with me and we both stayed the night. I played some of my grandfather’s favorite music and around 3:50am in the morning my grandfather took his last breath with Matt and me by his side.

It still feels so unreal, being in my grandparents’ home this week has been nothing shy of hectic as we try to sort through everything all while planning the funeral for this weekend. There are so many memories in this house, my brother and I growing up would come here every summer for two weeks to spend some time with my grandparents. I have no doubt I’ll probably be a train wreck come Friday and Saturday, especially with all the family here. I keep sitting in this bedroom expecting to hear my grandfather walking through the house talking to my grandmother and telling her to get Matt ready because he’s taking him golfing with him. That was our summer’s for so long, my grandfather would take my brother golfing and my grandmother and I would sit at the house sometimes and watch old movies like ‘Pride and Prejudice’ or  ‘Anne of Green Gables’.

Well I imagine those of you brave enough to read this far are already tiring of this all and wondering why you even come here to read in the first place. But again I really do thank all of you who have and continue to keep my family in prayer during this hard time. I’ll be writing soon again I wager about some big changes that will be taking effect in my life soon.

Love to you all,
Missionary for Life